Roommate from Hell

May 3, 2015
3 min read

Katlyn had a dyed Mohawk, piercing on almost all projections on her face, six on the ears, and singles on the eye, nose, tongue and lower lip, too much for creativity.

By 8 O’clock I had already signed into my room. I wanted to get the lower bed, the best closet and landmark my study area in the room. I swear I wasn’t born this selfish, blame it on experience from my previous roommates. If only I had known the species of roommate I would have for this semester, I would never have bothered to leave home for school.

Katlyn came in two weeks late. By then, I was used to the loneliness, cleanliness and peace. One afternoon I came home to a full house. Six girls sat on my bed, two guys on the chairs and three on the top bed. First I was shocked then I faked a smile as I recovered. I took one swift swipe around the room to see who could be my roommate. At least all qualified except one; who happened to be the one. Katlyn had a dyed Mohawk, piercing on almost all projections on her face, six on the ears, and singles on the eye, nose, tongue and lower lip, too much for creativity. She was dressed up in rock star artefacts; she wore black from head to toe. ‘She will grow out of it’, I told myself.

The drama queen had mastered the art real well. It wasn’t long before she went out, five minutes after I had come in and requested that I lock the door because she won’t be coming back for the night. What a relief! At least I had time for myself to digest these new findings and come up with a tactful strategy. As it turned out, that was my very last chance of peaceful sleep. The bang at my neighbour’s door was just too loud. Eunice and her roommate were staunch Christians; someone knocking at their door at 2:00am in the night was incomprehensible.

‘Roommate’, the drunkard girl shouted, ‘open the door’.

I thought of my own roommate and thanked the Almighty because as much as I knew mine was some metal to deal with too, I knew she could never get to that extent. The knock was becoming too much. ‘Roommate! Open the door! I can’t sleep in the cold and yet I paid extra accommodation fee. I changed my mind about sleeping out, I want to sleep on my bed tonight and I mean it.’ It dawned on me. The curse was back to make my life miserable. As she came in and climbed her bed to sleep, her muddy shoes thrown on my utensils; I dreaded the experience of meeting my pastors’ neighbours in the morning. They would have to go through the sermon of, ‘you better get drunk with the word of God than alcohol again’.

My roommate had a medical problem; allergy to water. Don’t get me wrong, that is the only explanation I can give to her lack of tidiness. She couldn’t wash her clothes, her utensils and not even the room. Her bed was never made and I didn’t have to get a masters’ in psychology to actually deduce that her hobby was smoking weed and taking alcohol with her friends. Her favourite meal was fries and yes, she had a very predictable diet; fries, fries, fries.

I bet she wasn’t rotten to the core. She had some good sides; she just has not given me a chance to find out which ones.